if you’re ever stranded in the wild just rub 2 mozzarella sticks together to build a pizza



Obama will never be half the man nor love America as much as Reagan did.

Obama will never eat as many flags throughout his presidency like Reagan did. Reagan holds the current flag-eating record at 3,463 flags during his presidency. Obama is currently only at 1,072.Here we see pictured: Reagan in action during one of his flag feedings. This is speculated to be approximately his 560th flag consumed.

*murders you* dont be mad its just a metaphor

chairs are just swings without all the drama


ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

hey man thanks for defining the word “many” for me. it means a lot


things the government want from me

  • my money

things the government don’t want from me

  • these hands




like or reblog this comment for two thousand children

wait… do we like or reblog to help two thousand children, or to receive two thousand children

Two THOUSAND children.

(Source: punchwizardmemorial)

i put the angst in gangsta


[me drawing 7s with a little line through them to impress girls in the library]: hmm. what? yes, i always draw 7s like this. it’s normal for me.


why is there a question mark

pancake in spanish translates to panqueque which translates back to english roughly as *raise the roof motion* bread whaaaat whaaaaat