*wears grey one day* wow look at this great use of color


*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable

look at me i looked cute yesterday

*orders chocolate milk at the bar*

*patronizing mother voice* oh so even if 9/10 dentists recommended jumping off a bridge, you would do it???

from now on i am splitting history into two categories: BB (before beyonce) and AB (after beyonce)

so if we all could just pretend that squidward was a fireman or some guy in an ambulance, then i’m sure we could all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band

(Source: korra)

eye doctor: you have a lazy eye
me: it’s not lazy, it’s just trying to find itself
*camera cuts to shot of my eye sitting on the couch watching tv and eating potato chips*

*backs up U-Haul into Olive Garden’s parking lot* i’m not leaving til this thing is FILLED with breadsticks